"Psychologist Hoistad lays out a road map for both new and established couples to achieve a secure, satisfying and invigorating relationship over the course of 16 weeks. The exercises in this workbook-style guide aim to help partners pinpoint and then transcend their current relational style: traditional (one dominant personality); merged (two interdependent people); roommate (equal yet disconnected). The goal is the titular Big Picture Partnering: strong individuals who create together the nurturing space Hoistad terms "our world." Once couples classify their mode of relating, Hoistad directs them to exercises that investigate the strengths and problems of each type, and gently advises them to break from destructive patterns by implementing new modes of thought, feeling and action. One guiding principle that Hoistad has gleaned from studying healthy relationships is the 5-to-1 ratio, in which couples aim for five positive interactions for every negative one. This investment, writes Hoistad, is an insurance policy every couple can count on during times of stress. Couples both married and unmarried will find valuable techniques for enhanced communication and commitment-though some, like time outs and weekly partnering meetings, may seem a bit artificial. The author's warm, supportive tone encourages readers to stick with her program, which is intensive and requires two fully engaged participants. Like every worthwhile endeavor, Hoistad's path will take couples down roads they may not like to tread, but, as she insists, bumpy paths are part of "the trip of a lifetime.""
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

                                     Publishers Weekly
 

Chock-full of anecdotes, advice, and tips that will encourage couples toward fully considering each other in everything they do. Mates are encouraged to strengthen the relationship by seeing the good in each other, exploring and experimenting, breaking out of rigid roles, and deepening themselves individually. Hoistad smoothly alternates between an authoritative and a conversational tone.

                                      Library Journal

"It's difficult to find a simple, readable book that presents such a magnificent job of untangling the complexities of relationships--but
Big Picture Partnering does it!  A fantastic book to guide you to the relationship you long for."

                                     Pat Love, Ed.D. author, The Truth About Love

 

“This book can help couples have a great marriage.”

                                     Howard J. Markman, Ph.D., author of 12 Hours to a
                                     Great Marriage

 

“In Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship, Dr. Hoistad shows couples how to move from a relationship that works to a relationship that rocks! Her guidance is practical and easy to follow; her exercises are fun and rewarding. Along the way, she delivers pragmatic assists to tackling the real life problems that can  trouble even the most loving of couples.”

                                      Pamela Hill Nettleton, author of Getting Married
                                      When It's Not Your First Time and How to Live
                                      with a Middle-Aged Man

 

“Dr. Jan generously distills her considerable expertise into a 16-week pathway to relationship success, empowering couples with valuable tools that will save them hundreds in therapy bills and years of frustration."

                                      Patty Howell & Ralph Jones, authors of World Class
                                      Marriage

 

"This is an awesome book for couples who not only want to create an innovative partnership that works, but also want a relationship that uniquely represents the individuals in that partnership. The philosophies and tools outlined by Jan are simple yet have a profound and lasting impact.”

                                       Jenni Lilledahl, owner of Brave New Workshop
                                       Comedy Theatre

 

"Jan's insight and method regarding partnering clearly has a place in the corporate environment. As I work with clients to help them increase their company's ability to innovate and increase team productivity, I am consistently reminded of how helpful Jan's work could be to help both the individuals and teams that I am interacting with. Better partnering equals thrilled customers and bigger profits."

                                      John Sweeney, owner of Brave new Workshop
                                      Comedy Theater and nationally recognized
                                      corporate creativity and innovation speaker,
                                      trainer, and author.